September 18, 2010

This week has given me much to think about regarding the provision of G-d. Our daughter was in the hospital this past week and it was a very trying time. Even though initially it was not a good situation for she had emergency surgery, the unexpected blessings that came forth were amazing. As trite as this may sound, times like these really put into perspective what is truly important in life and the LORD was right there with us.
While our daughter was in surgery, I found a Bible in the waiting room and opened it up to the Psalms. I knew that book would give me something to hold onto for I was very scared and unsure of the findings of the surgery. What I found gave me a profound sense of peace for my mind and soul. In Psalm 41, verses 1-3 it states: "Blessed is he who considers the poor; The LORD will deliver him in time of trouble. The LORD will preserve him and keep him alive, and he will be blessed on the earth; You will not deliver him to the will of his enemies. The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed." That blew me away for I did not know that scripture. I knew at that point that she would be alright. G-d was so gracious to give me that; I am very grateful.
It was an up and down week for my daughter had was in pretty sick and not totally responding initially to the antibiotics. She ended up in the hospital for 4 days and finally started to show signs of improvement during the last night of her stay. On the day she was released, everyone was commenting on how great she looked. Thank you doctors, nurses, and thank you, Jesus.
During her stay, we were able to have many insightful conversations which probably would not have happened if this had not occurred. They were about everything... They reminded me of so many things I have taken for granted and just how important it is to let my family know just how much they are loved. I am grateful for the openness and vulnerability of my daughter; her willingness to be very real and true to many things. Hardship has a way of bringing out such discussions and for that I am grateful.
So, this week was a blessing - a difficult one, but a blessing indeed. G-d's provision for our family in so many ways was seen and experienced, I just had to share it. Until next time, take care, G-d bless, and enjoy!

September 5, 2010

Memory... It is something I cherish. I'm watching someone very close to me go through the season of life where memory is lost or in the process of fading. We joke and laugh sometimes about it when it involves minor things but when the reality of it hits, when it pertains to important things, it is no laughing matter. It is hard to watch and experience for it means that the memories of childhood, adolescent, and even adulthood are fading and lost. The experiences that make up who I am and what I am, the experiences that make up who this person is are forgotten as if they never existed. That is difficult to handle at times... for it means that the memories that we both cherish can not be shared and relived. The bonding that occurs during those times are lost, never to return again. That is sad.



Seasons of life occur. Change is inevitable. But this change I don't like and I can't change it. It is a season that must be endured with love, compassion, and acceptance. But the memories that are created now only last for a short time and maybe that's enough. To experience each other and enjoy each other in the moment for that's really all we have in this life. The moment of 'Now'. Learning to live in the current moment, experiencing life to its fullest no matter when or where I am. This is what I'm learning through this season. Will I be able to do this all the time? Probably not for the cares of this world will more than likely trample over this revelation but the more often I can keep it in my thoughts and prayers, the more likely I'll be able to appreciate the 'Now' especially when it comes to loved ones.



So the memories will be short lived. The experience of 'Now' will have to endure in my memory for the both of us. And that's ok, at least one of us can recall and relive them and use that memory to bring a bonding that is even closer than before. It might eventually be onesided and the pain that it will bring cannot stop and hinder that bonding or memory for me. Knowing that I am housing the memory for the two of us must be enough and my actions must not become contrived or bitter. I pray I remember this if it gets to the point of non-memory. The 'Now' must be what I cherish. The 'Now' must be what I seek and live with pertaining to my loved one. The 'Now' must be enough. It is what I have, nothing more, nothing less. It is my portion for this season of life.



Therefore, I need to take this portion and accept it for what it is. I can fill this season with memories and cherish them. I can learn to be content with what I have for it is within the moment of 'Now' and that is what I've been given. And I must learn to be grateful for it.



So until next time, take care, enjoy the 'Now', and G-d bless.