September 5, 2010

Memory... It is something I cherish. I'm watching someone very close to me go through the season of life where memory is lost or in the process of fading. We joke and laugh sometimes about it when it involves minor things but when the reality of it hits, when it pertains to important things, it is no laughing matter. It is hard to watch and experience for it means that the memories of childhood, adolescent, and even adulthood are fading and lost. The experiences that make up who I am and what I am, the experiences that make up who this person is are forgotten as if they never existed. That is difficult to handle at times... for it means that the memories that we both cherish can not be shared and relived. The bonding that occurs during those times are lost, never to return again. That is sad.



Seasons of life occur. Change is inevitable. But this change I don't like and I can't change it. It is a season that must be endured with love, compassion, and acceptance. But the memories that are created now only last for a short time and maybe that's enough. To experience each other and enjoy each other in the moment for that's really all we have in this life. The moment of 'Now'. Learning to live in the current moment, experiencing life to its fullest no matter when or where I am. This is what I'm learning through this season. Will I be able to do this all the time? Probably not for the cares of this world will more than likely trample over this revelation but the more often I can keep it in my thoughts and prayers, the more likely I'll be able to appreciate the 'Now' especially when it comes to loved ones.



So the memories will be short lived. The experience of 'Now' will have to endure in my memory for the both of us. And that's ok, at least one of us can recall and relive them and use that memory to bring a bonding that is even closer than before. It might eventually be onesided and the pain that it will bring cannot stop and hinder that bonding or memory for me. Knowing that I am housing the memory for the two of us must be enough and my actions must not become contrived or bitter. I pray I remember this if it gets to the point of non-memory. The 'Now' must be what I cherish. The 'Now' must be what I seek and live with pertaining to my loved one. The 'Now' must be enough. It is what I have, nothing more, nothing less. It is my portion for this season of life.



Therefore, I need to take this portion and accept it for what it is. I can fill this season with memories and cherish them. I can learn to be content with what I have for it is within the moment of 'Now' and that is what I've been given. And I must learn to be grateful for it.



So until next time, take care, enjoy the 'Now', and G-d bless.