December 15, 2011

Well, this will probably the last entry of the year but then again, I could be wrong! It has been a demanding semester teaching, great art making semester, and good semester for the family.
All of my girls are home and that's great for Christmas! I'm so thankful for family and friends, especially at this time of year when thoughts turn towards those we love. My husband and I also celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with a vow renewal which made everyone cry!!! I'm so blessed!!!!
I'm especially thankful for my critique groups (2) whose voices had been invaluable to me and have helped me see the things that I typically overlook. Their encouragement and direction have spurred me onto creating work of excellence. They keep me on track and hold the bar up high!!!
I'm continuing with the bands of black and white (in various shades and tints) calling them my Interstice pieces. I'm really seeing a correlation between the work I've done in the past with what I'm working on at the present. It's exciting to see the development and relationship of the works.
I'm also working in acrylics as well as encaustics, just to explore the possibilities - will probably work in graphite as well!!! I've really been inspired by the work of Clyfford Still (the Clyfford Still Museum just opened here in Denver). His command of the mark and his authority with the paint and shapes is truly amazing. I never realized it before as the reproductions I've seen do not do his work justice. It is wonderful work! His exploration of an idea and the progression of the possibilities has taught me to continue to pursue the direction I'm on right now. I owe a great debt to him as well as to my collegues. And of course... Mark Rothko, Barnett Newman, and the other Abstract Expressionists!!! It's been a wonderful artistic year!
My goal is to create a new body of work worthy of exhibit and representation. I'm trying to find a gallery in Denver but also in Santa Fe and possibly LA. We shall see what the next year brings but until next time... Take care, enjoy, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and G-d bless

October 14, 2011

Here is a new work titled, Interstice (bottom) and Interstice II (top) which refers to the movement and spaces of the in between. I've been working on themes of division and seperation more so than hidden and revealed but I think with the texture and depth of the work, it has some fo that in it as well. It's been a fun process, one that has given me much to think about regarding the imagery and concepts.
A few of my friends have suggested that my adoption plays a role in the creating of my artwork to which I must agree. I've been 'divided' bewteen families: my birth family, adopted family, and married family. The loss and grief that adopted children deal with throughout their lives manifests in many different ways and for me, I believe that is through my artwork plus other areas of my life. My work always contains something divided, seperated, or adopted within it. For the found object work, it definitely embodied the redemption of the object which involved 'adopting' it from the streets and placing it within the art. For the straight paintings, my compositions subconsciously (and now consciously) created that division of space like my divisions within my families. The lines that seperate and then are obliterated reflect the integration I have tried to achieve within my life. I'm so appreciative of the insight of my friends - I sometimes can't see the forest from the trees!!!
I want the rhythm of the work that is created by the seperation/division to bring a sense of peace, contemplation, and rest. I want a spirit to spirit communication to occur with the work. That would excite me greatly for it is not necessary for the viewer to know all about the motiviation within my adoption but to have an experience that can remove them, even if it is for a moment, of beauty and rest. That is where the inbetween comes into play for me. That moment that stops the chaos of the world and leaves a feeling of refreshment - that is the inbetween place where I want the work to exist. I had a friend say that art should bring about a moment of awakening. I think that is true - an awakening to a new experience or to become aware of your existence and appreciating it - transcending the moment. That would be a wonderful gift if my work could achieve that. At least that is my goal!!!
Well, that's it for now. Until next time, take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!

August 30, 2011

With a thankful heart I'm posting this image to my blog!!! I have had several critques and have had wonderful encouragement with this new direction. I'm playing with line but obscuring it and hiding it within the wax. Trying to find an expression that reflects the contemplation and meditation that I feel within the studio, I believe that this work is coming close to the vision that I have. The form and structure of the work is rooted within art history - Barnett Newman's 'zips', Mark Rothko's wonderful color and tranparency, Clyfford Still's shapes and colors. My work is trying to continue the language and expression of these masters; to bring about a new contribution, a continued development of the non-objective language. Although the work is sometimes rooted within something tangible, the work itself does not always reflect that point of departure. That is alright with me for the time being. It brings a focus or a structure to the work so I can create from that point.
A couple of my friends have stated that they can breathe within this work and that the work is more contemplative than ever before. This excites me greatly!!! For if another person is responding to the work in a medatative manner, then my experience is translating to the viewer! It reflects my studio time for it is a time of prayer with the Lord and a time of contemplation apart from the prayer. It is my time to be, just be with my creativity and myself, and my G-d. Cares are washed away when I'm there and my hope is that the work transcends the chaos of the everyday and reveals and allows the viewer to have a quiet place, a moment of peace, a place where beauty and the spirit meet. I've always believed that art was and is a spirit to spirit communication and for me at least, the non-objective expression best translates that. It is a translation that is difficult to put into words or realistic depictions. It reflects the intuition and yearnings of my being and hopefully can relate to someone else's as well.
This particular piece actually has collaged elements from Genesis - the chapter where Jacob receives his blessing from Isaac. They are hidden underneath the wax but if the work is seen from up close, some of the writing is visible. The working title is: Jacob's Blessing. I want the work to reflect the hidden as well as the realization of the materials. So I contemplate the title!!! The collaged elements are part of the process, part of the elements and materials, part of the concept. The title will change but they will all be incorporated within it.
I'm excited to see what will transpire with this series. It is feeding my spirit and leaving me intrigued with the process. So, until next time... take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!!!

July 2, 2011

I've been busy (with my sister) moving my mom into an assisted living facility so studio time has been minimal at best. But, with that said, my studio practice has been ongoing. I am revisiting some old ideas: hidden and revealed, earthen materials. These things ground me within my creativity. My latest painting shows these reflections and I am excited about it!!! I have been in a transitory state with my work and finally feel like I am onto something that will take me in the right direction.
The exploration with line, shape, color, form, and texture all have come to fruition in this painting - at least that's how it feels to me. I was looking at some photos from Yellowstone that were sent to me from a friend who had vacationed there and something resonated within me when I saw them. I have gotten away from the earth in my work - it always grounds me. The wax I use is from the earth, yes, but the viseral connection I have with the earth has been missing. Something so obvious yet so far removed - small lightbulb, dim wattage!!! (It's one of my favorite sayings when I miss things....)
This connection I have with the grit of the earth, the feel and texture of it always seems to feed my spirit. I think with all of the theory of art I have been researching has influenced me away from this grounding (that I so desperately need). It felt like I was returning to a sacred and familiar place. So I want to explore this more - create more works that keep me there. I want to creatively explore this concept and think I am going to be at it for awhile.
The creative atmosphere is still one of prayer and contemplation but the point of departure and the relationship between that and the earth will hopefull manifest within the work to produce truly meditative pieces.
So, that is it for now. Until next time, take care, enjoy and G-d bless!

April 1, 2011

No, this is not an April Fool's prank!!! I just thought it would be a great way to start the month off with some thoughts... I was talking with my critique group and we were discussing the idea of transition with our artworks and the idea came when discussing mine called, the moment in between. This is exactly where I feel I am with my process. I'm working on new work which is very different from my previous work. It is utilizing line much more prominently - in fact, the entire work is nothing but line. This is not entirely new for me as I've made drawings like this in the past and have returned to them. But to create them with the encaustic is new. The encaustic was a fun process where as the drawings were more laborious. With the drawings, I was conscious of every stroke, every line was consciously drawn to make sure that it was an unique entity. This made the process very difficult and tedious. Whereas the encaustic, I just allowed the lines to flow. That was soooo much easier and much more fun. So I'm going to apply the freedom and fun of the encaustic to my drawings. It should be a much more enjoyable process! Getting back to the moment in between... when the work is taking on a new direction or the work is being created in a new language or medium - that is the moment of in between. As I've stated before, that is where I am at the moment. It was one thing to work with the found object and develop that into mature work but now that I am painting, just painting, I find that I'm working with a new language or should I say, one that I haven't developed in a long while. I haven't worked with the encaustic without the found object and this past year has been just that. I'm still working through the language, my symbolism, the meaning of the work. Heck, I'm trying to figure out exactly what I'm about artistically in this process!!!! I don't know yet. I feel I haven't created enough work to know at this point. One very valuable lesson I learned in grad school was to create many pieces in order to truly know what the work is about in order to establish the meaning and intent of the art work (I created almost 60 pieces to find out what my work was about at that time). I'm not sure if I'm going to create that many pieces now but I do know that in order to truly understand my concepts and materials, I'm going to have to really buckle down in the studio and make art. This place of the moment in between is really exciting and scary at the same time. For it is a time of discovery and experimentation and it is a time of truly not knowing what to expect! It could be disastrous but wonderful too. So far, it's been fun, challenging but fun. I feel I'm beginning to come into my own, creating my own work, not just working from old prototypes. Not to say that the older work was copied or not my creation, it's just that I feel that my work will mature into a more developed style and language. I'm excited to see what will develop! I'll keep you all posted on what happens! So, until next time... take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!

March 15, 2011

Hello all... so much has happened in the last month. I had wonderful experience with Fusion IV, an art/poetry collaboration that I have been a part of for the past 6 months or so. We had a fantastic opening night with an even better reception towards the middle of the show. It's always fun to have you work seen by the public and even better when they like it!!!

The collaboration had 8 artists and 8 poets each collaborating with each others' work. Poets wrote to paintings and artists created to poems. It was a blast! It's been a while since I've worked like that and the artwork that was produced, I felt, was really good work - I had wonderful poems to work from which helped.

Here are the paintings that I created for the show. Corroded - the red piece , Mist - the blue/gray piece and one work that was already created, Zoetic Expressions III - the red/brown piece with the scribbly lines. All of these works were in the show which came down today. A book was even published from the event! I am so grateful for the experience and can't wait to work on Fusion V!

Well, just had to share... until next time... take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!

February 17, 2011

Well, in the midst of feeling lousy, I'm writing... My search for my birth mother has ended or at least come to a close for now. I truly believe that I've found her and she did not want any communication between us. Of course, I'm sad but my sorrow is really directed towards her and her life experience. I can't imagine what she must have gone through and how her life and unfolded to have our connection come to this point.
I do know that no matter what has happened between her and me, my family, friends, and G-d are with me and pulling my through all of this. I feel like I'm in the Lord's hands and He's sustaining me through His marvelous grace and through my friends and family. I'm truly alright with this; even at peace for I feel that the search is over and I can lay it to rest.
So for all of you who have been keeping me in prayer, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much. I am sooo blessed to have you all in my life. I praise G-d for His mercies, my husband, children, and family.
I just wanted you all to know what had happened. Again, thanks for all the encouraging words. Until next time, take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!

January 29, 2011

I'm adopted and have known this since I was a young child. My mother gave me my adoption papers several years ago and have been looking for my birth mother ever since. This is not an indication of how my mother and father raised me for they loved me and gave me a good home. This search is about filling the gap I have felt for a long time.
Within my birth records are my birth mother's name and my birth name. I've been searching the internet for her name and came across the first match recently. Anticipating that this woman might be her, I sent a letter to her and haven't heard anything - yet. It hasn't been that long but I'm anxious to hear from her; whether she is or isn't my birth mother.
The emotions of this find had me all over the place: joy, fear, happiness, doubt - many emotions that I quite frankly was not prepared to have for I really didn't think I'd find her - or at least a name match! It was an up again, down again stream of emotions. I realize that I didn't quite know what I expected from such a find. I want to connect with my birth mother but really want to establish a relationship and the fear of her not wanting that really sent me in an emotional spin. I know I must brace myself for this type of rejection but there is also a chance that she would want to have a relationship. It's a 50/50 chance for either option.
I do know that even if the woman is not her or doesn't want a relationship, that my world has not changed that much for my family is still mine and loves me. That I take great comfort in for my desire to have them in my life is being met each and every day. Her reaction to my query will not change that fact in my life. I am eternally grateful for my family that raised me and my family that I have with my husband. I've been blessed.
Several of my friends say I'm offering her a gift and I believe that is true. She will have an entire new addition to her world and if she doesn't want that, then it will be her loss. I'll be sad too for I will lose out on her family as well. But if she does want a relationship, then both she and I will have more blessings with family. I hope that's the case.
With all this, where do I go from here??? I am in a holding pattern right now - one that might be answered but I do run the risk of never hearing from this woman at all. If that happens, I will continue to live my life with unanswered questions. That is not the worst thing that could happen to me. I've been too blessed to have that hinder my attitude towards life, my G-d, my family, art, etc.
So, that's the latest with me. I'm still working on art, teaching at the college, being mom and wife. These things are a part of my life and keep me focused on what is important and necessary. I look forward to updating you on the news as it develops! So, until next time, take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!

January 19, 2011

I'm exploring line. What it is and what it means within my work. I've made lines since I was a kid and couldn't color within them very well - I always went outside the line! I've been drawn to line and am compelled to create it. There is something about the cascading line that excites me. Lines divide, separate, contain; they express, define, organize, describe; it is the line itself that creates the focal point and energy within the work. Line can be beautiful, expressive, agitating, even aggressive. It can creat stability or rhythm. Line is used to define the object when drawn or painted. It can be created from one point to another or created when placing planes next to each other. They are implied or actual and create tension within the work. Jean August Dominique Ingres was a master at line when drawing people and objects; his drawings and line are marvelous. Vincent van Gogh's lines were authoritative and strong. Jackson Pollock was a master with the abstract line. His paintings are celebrations of line. Barnett Newman's work explored line (his zips), planes and color. But these abstract paintings were expressions of the self, myth, and possibly forms of Jewish mysticism (in Newman's case).
I believe that the line expresses a part of my psyche for my spirit follows and connects with every mark I make. Although hard to describe, my soul actually yearns to bond with the line. I get excited about mark-making, about the line. There is something about a weighted line that speaks to my spirit. My lines are reflective of life, of energy. With the vertical line there is an amalgamation between the heaven and earth; more in a spiritual than literal sense. The horizontal is the grounding force within it. Much like a horizon line, but metaphorical. My works are not landscapes but echoes of the soul - the desire to connect and imbibe within the spiritual, the Divine. I've said that the work reflects my spiritual walk - my trust in G-d. This is very true for within each painting is the act and trust that occurs to create it. The lines, color, and texture are the expression and exclamation of that process. But it is the line that activates the work, creates the action within it.
While my work has texture and color, they are sometimes secondary to the line; they accentuate it, bring it out to the forefront, highlight it and help establish it within the picture plane. The line can be subtle or right in your face. The background of the work may be peaceful or soothing but the line pulls out the energy of the piece. But whatever imagery I use, the line helps to reveal it or is the subject matter itself.
So right now, that is what is important to me in my work. I'm still exploring this idea of line and I'm sure more revelations will come to me as I work through this and process it. So until next time... take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!

January 9, 2010

January 3, 2011

I work in such an intuitive way; I a so enthralled by the movement and reactions to the paint that the work is more about the relationship to the medium than anything else. For the paint and mark-making dictate my actions and I respond to their direction. It is a language that I have learned to read and listen to as I create. I trust the paint, that it will direct my path in the creation of the work. If something is not working in the way I think it should go, then I have confidence that my experience with the medium will aid the development of the piece and it will eventually work itself out to completion. The way the paint moves and flows, the response to the heat, the mark-making, and the connection of the colors all work together to create a work of art that speaks to my in a non-verbal way. It speaks to me in a spiritual way, a visual way; a communication that speaks to my spirit. I believe that this relationship, this connection to the work reflects in some way my relationship with G-d. The trust with the direction of the paint is similiar to the direction and guidance I receive from the LORD.
It is hard to put into words a non-verbal communication. Even if I cannot articualte exactly what is happening with the work, it does not mean that the work is empty or hollow. This is true for much of abstract or non-objective art for the imagery that is seen and the lexis that is communicated within the piece translates the written or spoken language. Emotions, reactions, and responses are all contained within the imagery and symbolism of an abstract or non-objective work of art. Even if the work does not contain symbolism, the work is a response to the creative stimuli of the artist and makes it a part of the human condition. We as human beings have an intrinsic need to create - we're the only species on the planet that create intuitively. We are the only ones that express ourselves artistically without an outside facilitator. The need to create and the expressiveness within the various media that have been created for this expression all point to the nature of what it means to be human, to be a creative species. I also believe that this connects us to our Creator, the One who contains the ultimate creative spirit - the Bara.
The moment of the encounter with a work of abstraction and the moment of the response is very telling. The communication between the work and the viewer is very important. The various reactions to an abstract/non-objective work shows the evidence of this communication. The various reactions speak to the spirit to spirit communication that occurs between the artist and the viewer. Positive, negative, or even indifference are all reactions to what is happening with the artwork. The artist sometimes wishes for a specific reaction or sometimes the viewer is allowed to perceive the work in whatever context they desire. What is important is that the work was created and is many times is independent from any response the viewer may have. For if an artist creates a work with the viewer in mind, creates a work with the expectation of a specific response, then the art can suffer. I am speaking of works created within a fine art context, not a commercial art context. It can be created in an artificial environment, a forced environment, without true honesty from the artist. It is much better for the artist to remain true to themsleves, to the medium, to the original vision of the work regardless of the viewer's response. This is true honesty, this is true art making.
So in turn, my art speaks from my own experiences and artistic language. It expresses my response, my reaction, and sometimes my surprise to the medium. It expresses my humanness. I cannot always direct or contain it for the medium dictates many times the final outcome of the piece. The language is non-verbal; a visual language that communicates to and feeds my spirit and hopefully speaks to whoever receives the imagery of the work. The work is not always symbolic in content but is a reflection of my relationship with the paint. It is also a mirror of my relationship with my G-d and reminds me of the trust I have with the Divine. It is an interchange between me and the paint, an exchange that I hope is honest and forecoming with my creative experience.
Until next time, take care, enjoy, and G-d bless!